en amarillo

hoy quiero fundirme contigo en un abrazo, cerrar los ojos, y sentir que todo puede ser sencillo, que no hay más motivo que nuestras almas, ni más objetivo que ser felices. ahogarme en amarillo. juntar mi frente con la tuya. y dormir.

some days from now

It's not that I stopped feeling it, it's just that I won't tell you anymore, because i need to stop feeling it

Some thoughs, some day

En esta noche sin sueño, veo pasar la noche por la ventana y pienso:
Que ya van 33 días y noches en las que hemos hablado por horas a la vez
Sin perdernos el uno del otro, ni de tu día ni del mío, ni tampoco de un solo día.

Que sean muchos o sean poquitos depende de donde se mire.
De esos días han sido un puñado los que hemos estado cerca.
Han habido momentos en que estando a cientos de kilometros, te he sentido a mi lado.
Han habido momentos en que estando a un par de centímetros, te he sentido muy lejos.

Días en los que:
han habido risas y miles de sonrisas.
han habido tristezas y han habido lagrimas.
Han habido besos y abrazos presentes.
Han habido besos y abrazos viajeros.
E incluso besos y abrazos posfechados...

Días de consejos, días de entendernos y días de desentendernos.
Días rudos.
Días tiernos.
Días de rabias.
Días de alegrías.

Que maravillosos días han sido!
Que emocionantes días han sido!
Que felices días han sido!
entre ellos, algunos tristes se han escondido.

Han sido días de tenernos, y Han sido días de soñarnos.
Han habido días llenos de seguridad.
Han habido días llenos de incertidumbre.

Han sido días de empezar a conocernos
De dar los primeros pasos en las insondables profundidades de nuestras almas.

Han sido días de sembrar Robles.

Y si en algún momento llega el fin de los días, y caen los robles.
Sabremos que cada día fue sincero.
No me morire.
No me echare al fuego.
Me sentare calmado y al viento que te trajo y te llevo, le leere algunas palabras, le dare las gracias.

Gracias por traerme días en la aventura de tu sonrisa y en el calor de tu mirada.

Te quiero por lo que eres y por como eres, no te cambiaría un pelo.

Eso habla hoy mi alma, mientras la noche de otro día pasa por mi ventana.
Y como siempre que se desahogan mente y corazón, llega el sueño a rescatarlos.

Queriendote en los días de mi futuro.

So this is it

After all this rollercoaster, well so far
the thing is
i was never really ready to be so far
for some months now.
i think this is it
i think its becoming more of a game
where the rules and the players are not clear
I'm growing more tired day by day
she demands too much
and i'm tired to be just one more of the endless line
my chances are still good, they always were

I thank her for the energy she once brought
it made me generate feelings and energies i have not had in a long time

But the same wind that brought her
is taking her away.

What I want from her i cannot ask.

Like her wallet.

Its lost like my heart invested in her.

And she's not coming, and i'm not going.

And our souls stopped meeting.

And she's not as strong, and not willing to commit.

And I don't think she is what I'm looking for.

She is a STORM. For good and Evil.

Are you gonna be my girl?

Grace Kelly

Hey there Delilah

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This one's for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

Entre tejas y cereal

mi alegría y mi tristeza están envueltas en un velo de esperanza.

que el tiempo se estanque en ese momento
y haga un lago de sentimientos, del que broten robles de amor
para que nos ahogemos en ellos, y encontremos paz

no es que estemos jugando a ser otros, sino que cambiamos las palabras que quieren salir del corazón y las ahogamos entre las del cerebro

El pasado es historia, el mañana es un misterio, y el hoy es un regalo, por eso lo llaman presente

Frente

every time I think of you I get a shot right through into a bolt of blue
is no problem of mine but is a problem I find, living a life that i can't leave behind
there's no sense in telling me
the wisdom of a fool won't set you free
but thats the way that it goes
and nobody knows
and every day my confusion grows
every time i see you falling i get down on my knees and pray
i'm waiting for that final moment, you say the words that i can't say
every time i see you falling i get down on my knees and pray
i'm waiting for that final moment, you say the words that i can't say
i feel fine and i feel good
i feel like I never should
whenever i get this way i just don't know what to say
why can't we BE OURSELVES LIKE WE WERE YESTERDAY
i'm not sure what this could mean
i'm not sure you're what you seem
i do admit to myself that if i had someone else
then, i would never see just what we're meant to be
every time i see you falling i get down on my knees and pray
i'm waiting for that final moment, you say the words that i can't say
every time i see you falling i get down on my knees and pray
i'm waiting for that final moment, YOU SAY THE WORDS THAT I CANT SAY

Antídoto

Que será, que cuando no estás oigo tu vos, que respiro fuerte de emoción
estas inyectandole un antídoto a mi corazón
que va fluyendo fuerte por mi cuando te acercas a mi
salen versos, pierdo la calma se me cae el alma.

sigh

The past few days in Medellín and Back in Manizales, have been the most emotional ones in a long long while.

Sort of like the cycle of a relationship flashed by in 4 weeks.

It's funny, becoming friends, 3 weeks, being a couple hmm.. 3 days, breaking up 3 days, staying good friends and feeling broken hearted.. 1 day so far.

The thoughts in my mind about it all somehow dissent between each other.

On one side, I feel like fighting, full of life and eager to put all this behind and continue with the most exceptional thing I've felt in a long time, because she is great, I am determined and I want her.

On the other side is like.... hmm, do I really want to???????, I mean, yes I felt great and amazing, but I didn't really felt she did. And the moments we spent were nice but not as great as I had pictured them.

Then there is the always haunting..... WE DO NOT LIVE IN THE SAME CITY!, can we handle being so far away?... but mann, it is not so far, it's only 5 hours and like 15 dollars away... I can handle that... will she???

What happened was stupid, and nothing or no one but me is to blame. However, looking at it closely, why did i go there "alone" in the first place??, because she didn't want to go, and wouldn't go to do something else with me... she wanted to sleep, this is really childish to say, but I really need to let it out -I have this blog for this kind of statements.-

But then i look at her in a picture, and i really want to hug her, for a long while.

Is she really willing to do something for me?, or since i've been giving so much... I'm not allowing her to give... and only to give in return.

It felt forced to chat with her today, i do not know why, so don't ask, but it just didn't flow right.... it felt it completely emotionless, and constrained from showing feelings.. and apart from telling each other what we were doing it didn't go much further... now... if you think about the long call we had yesterday... it flowed very nicely... we went on about everything that happened and fell back to ride on the back of poems, and then on really nice, very "us" kind of cool talk, the names came back for each other, and it ended with a "kiss".

It's 4:30 am, I really need a cool day tomorrow, but i can't sleep.. it's been two movies.... and I just don't quite get sleepy. the thought of her swirls inside of my mind, I want to write beautiful feelings in careful words, but then would she read them as just words??? , do I swirl around in her mind???... if i think for what i've felt today... hhmmm: no. But if you think in a little wider time frame: yes. the conclusion to this may be that i'm swirling less and less on her mind.

Now... the thing comes down to this: Do we keep talking about what happened, and about how we want to make it exceptional again, and keep giving us time (it has only been one day so far), or do I move back to nourishing the relationship. Do we move to grief and loss, or to happiness and companionship. The answer would be trivial. but can I do it on my own????.. nope I cannot do it on my own.. and there lies the dilemma, she is sorrow, but i am only sorrow because she is, otherwise i'd be glorious. So... how do I move her heart from going to grief to going to happiness, without forcing her so it breaks.... but without letting her too loose so it falls.

At the end of the day... one may say that we are only are a couple of people that met for a couple of weeks kissed and hugged for a couple of days and then didn't.... or maybe say... that we are two individuals that are bound together by laws beyond them and are just starting their life together... Maybe we are just getting started, and we both overcomplicate things, and have too many friends and time to discuss them???

If I let her alone a couple of days, will she feel I'm not there, and come looking for me?

If i send her all my feelings will she read them as an excuse? will she become tired of me?

All I will conclude so far is that i will not message her tonight.

I'll deal with my heart again tomorrow. and sigh myself to sleep today.

"Un suspiro es el aire que nos sobra, por alguien que nos falta"

Your Destiny

Observa tus pensamientos ...
se convertirán en tus palabras
Observa tus palabras...
se convertirán en tus acciones
Observa tus acciones...
se convertirán en tus hábitos
Observa tus hábitos...
se convertirán en tu caracter
Observa tu caracter...
se convertira en tu destino

---

Mind your thoughts...
for they will become your words.
Mind your words...
for they will become your actions.
Mind your actions...
for they will become your habits.
Mind your habits...
for they will become your character.
Mind your character
for it will become your destiny